Finding Peace

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There is a scripture in the bible, where Jesus is quoted as saying, “My peace will I give to you”. Can you imagine the peace of Jesus. He came to earth knowing his fate, and purpose and yet experienced peace in his life. Jesus, like all of us experienced, turmoil, doubt, rejection, and all the human emotions and conditions we are all subject to. Yet he knew he had a plan and a purpose, and he had peace with his purpose in life. Jesus, is the example for us, we are capable of finding peace no matter, what life tries to throw at us. I find peace in stillness. Practicing, quietness and stillness each morning sets the tone for my day. It is an important foundation of my spiritual practice.

Sometimes, as we go about our day to day lives, with jobs, family obligations, meetings, and the day to day hustle, we can get so overwhelmed. We go from this thing to the other, constantly moving, trying to get things done. However, starting your day even if only for a few minutes, in quiet and stillness encourages you to release the mental clutter. When you can release the mental clutter, you find peace and clarity.

Begin, by finding a quiet place, settle there. Somewhere you will not be interrupted. In the early morning hours before the rest of my family is awake is my time. Just sit quietly, with no tv, phones, or any other outside stimuli. The intent is just to sit quietly and enjoy the stillness, and the quiet time. I even sometimes imagine I am deleting mental debris and chatter from my brain. Then I just allow myself to be.

Breathing in and out slowly and deeply, I just allow myself to concentrate on breathing, and being still. Thoughts come, allow them and let them pass. In the quietness, I hear God, I receive the most profound messages and sometimes I hear nothing, just quiet. After my personal moments of silence, if someone or a situation comes to mind I pray for them, that they may find peace. I ask God to speak to me often in my quiet time, and he does. I journal this experience, and I have found that God has lead me through some of my most trying times, during those quiet moments with him. Recently, I went to see the movie, “The War Room”. In the movie an elderly woman actually had a closet where she spent time quietly with herself and God, praying. Your “War Room” like mine, does not have to be a physical space, but a mental space where you connect with your spirit, and with God. This connection becomes the source of your peace, your grounding space. This becomes your breathing space, your space for restoration, and release.

Allow your quiet time to be the place you revive, and replenish for your day. Breathe-release-listen to the stillness- and just be. Know that this is a place that is within you, that you can obtain in an instance. Just knowing this brings peace, the more you practice having this space, the closer you are to peace within.

                                 Getting Over A Break-up and Moving On   

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Everyone has been there, you meet someone, fall in love, and boom something happens and it is over. The initial shock of the relationship not working out is so difficult, and then their is the emotional turmoil that goes with a breakup, both make breakups difficult but not impossible to get over. Disappointments in life will happen, that is a given, the question is not that these disappointments will happen, it is how to get over them? Day by day, choice by choice, is my answer. It may sound over simplified but it really is the answer.

Breakups are hard, that is no doubt. However, most of the time if we are honest with ourselves we could see the writitng on the wall, we often just choose not to. I have had to experience my share of breakups, and I have helped clients and friends as they have walked through or away from someone whom they loved. Here are some of the tips I have learned from personal experience, and passed on to others. Though it may be difficult you can make it through, and move on to something or someone even better.

Forgive- Forgive yourself and the other person. Release the grudges, the anger and resentment. They are toxic emotions, that harm you more than the other person. Often your ex-partner has moved on, and you are stuck in the muck and mire of your past relationship. First forgive yourself for whatever part if any, that you may have contributed to the breakup and then move forward. Forgive the other peson, what ever happened, it is over. You deserve to go on with your life, and so does your ex. Forgiveness, is mostly for you, it allows you to start over with a clean slate.

Allow yourself time to feel the emotions- Don’t start looking for someone else immediately. Allow yourself time to feel all the emotions, and let them pass. Allow yourself adequate time to heal, take the time to learn from the experience and grow. The time it takes to recover is very personal and indivualized. However, it should not take years, if this is the case, seek professional help. In this healing time, process the emotions and nuture yourself. Take warm baths, pamper yourself, take walks, eat healthy, do something you truly enjoy each week. Spend time with friends and family that are supportive and uplifting.

Spend time in prayer and meditation- Prayer allowed me to get through divorce. Openly talking to God about all the feelings you are experiencing and spending time just listening to God is cathartic. Trust me, you will learned to process your emotions positively. God just showered me with mercy, and the power to forgive and relese all the negative emotions I was experiencing, he will do the same for you. Pray for the other person, pray for their success, and pray for your success. Journal, what you are hearing from God. Believe, that this is a process, a journey that you will get through, and you will be better, stronger, and wiser on the other side of this.

Discard the baggage from the relationship- Seek help if you need it, but forgive and make the decision to move on. Do not take the old baggage from this relationship into your life, dropping trash wherever you go. Get rid of old memories that are painful, pictures, letters, etc. This allows you to purge the past, so you can move forward.

Make the decision to move on. You can make the decision, to be bitter or better. When you make up your mind that you are going to move on, it will happen. The transition becomes smoother, make the decision to enjoy your life, to live again, and laugh again. Go out with friends, get back in the swing of life. When the time is right date again, make the decision to love again. Love with a open heart, know that you are loving and capable of recieving good love. Make the decision to be a loving, giving person, and that you will not allow anyone or anything to keep you from that.

Lastly live, live fully, blissfully, giving and recieving love, be open! Your life will be fully lived, if you forgive, and find the strength, which is within you to keep moving forward.

          What To Do When Your Life Seems To Be In a Holding Pattern

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       Have you had a dream you wanted to accomplish, and it just seemed so far away. You seem to plan and work for the dream, and somehow it still has not happened. Or, maybe you have not achieved the level you desire. This is called the holding pattern of life. Holding patterns occur when the dreams you desire are not happening as fast as you would like or, they are not happening at all, and you are just waiting. What do you do? How do you handle the disappointment, do you just give up?

         Trust me, I have been at this point in life many times, just  at the brink of almost giving up because it seemed my dreams were just not happening. Then things began to manifest, and this is true for anyone who continues to hold on, and work for your dream. The holding patterns of life are frustrating, and challenging. However, this is also the place life teaches us the best lessons, be observant. The holding patterns of life, forces us to grow, try new ideas, and seek help and advice. Whatever you do, don’t give up!

          Here are some suggestion of getting through life’s holding pattern:

          1. Be kind to yourself. Realize that this is a transition period, and it will pass. Your time, is your time, and it will come. Eat well, sleep regularly at least 8 hours, exercise, and spend time quietly, meditating. In your meditation time, new ideas will come into your consciousness. Visualize yourself doing, being what you desire. 

          2. Prepare-Continue to read, take classes, meet and talk with mentors or coaches. Prepare yourself for the next level, while life has you in the holding pattern, continue to learn and prepare for the next level. Life is a life long class, what are your experiences teaching you, be aware of the lessons life maybe showing you.

          3. Review, revise, and repeat- Review your plans, what is working for you, and what is not. Stop anything that is not working, revise your plans, update as necessary. Don’t reinvent  the wheel, if something has worked in your past, use it again. If something has worked for someone else, it can be different when you put your spin to it. We all have used recycled ideas.

       4. Ask for help- If you are not the expert, ask for help when needed, get a support team to help you accomplish your goals. Delegate as needed.

       5. Be Patient with yourself- Remember what is for you is for you, and no one can take that away. Your desire will manifest. God’s timing is not always our timing. If you keep trying, your time will surely come. Sometimes we get the most discouraged right before our desires manifest.  

 Never give up!

Your test will be your testimony of victory, as it was said in the movie, finding Nemo,”Just keep Swimming”.