It took me sometime to learn that people are just people. Whether their white black, Hispanic, gay or straight, at the end of the day we are people. Taking the labels off, and living life in a way that, loves and respects a person for who they are, is a lifestyle that I choose to live. So being in an interracial marriage is sometimes a challenge because, though we have many thoughts and ideas that we share, our life experiences are different. Dave my husband comes from a two parent home, his mom and dad were married for many years, never separated or divorced. My family on the other hand is quite different my parents divorced, and both remarried, so I have five other siblings. We all get along and are close. My family is loud, loving, and diverse. Dave’s family is also loving, but more formal. Dave and I are both in our fifties, and have had previous marriages. We love each other, he is awesome and treats me with respect. He is kind and gentle, and has my best interest at heart. I feel the same way about him. At the end of the day it is not about color but about love. We simply just love each other. I have to say we have not really had any major family issues from either of our families. Both families have been supportive. I believe that both families asked us,were we sure? Both families talked about our differences, but they have all supported our marriage. There are still people who are against interracial marriage, but in today’s society there are more people that are accepting. The opinions of racist does not matter to me, nor do I allow their beliefs to direct my life path.
Yes, we have some life experiences that are different, just as other couples. We face challenges, with finances, blending families, working, just as other couples, the only differences we have are some cultural differences. However, that is also one of the best things about our marriage we have learned to see the world with more than one view point. Listening and sharing our life experiences has helped me in my interactions with others. We have learned to not allow the differences to interfere with our love for each other.
Just as any other couple, interracial couples should:
1. Share their life experiences with each other before, after, and during their marriage.
2. Share the culture and traditions of your family with your spouse,openly. You are not responsible for the thoughts or feelings of others regarding your relationship, you are responsible for your thoughts and actions.
3. Communicate, communicate! Openly, directly, supporting and giving each other feedback.
4. Set healthy boundaries, for families and friends, always demanding respect and being supportive of your spouse.
5. Live your life lovingly, by supporting each other, and those around you. The love you offerer generously to your spouse and others, comes back to your family providing a foundation for healthy relationships.
Lastly, live your lives together richly, and fully with a mission and purpose to bless your spouse daily. This can be done through a thought, a touch, kiss, word or deed. Choose to love and honor your spouse daily.